*Disclaimer: the words in this poem are my opinions and feelings and do not reflect the views of others.”

I found my joy tucked away in the back of the closet in a ball with her head in between her legs 

I went over to touch her shoulder and she flinched, looked up at me with red eyes and a tear stained shirt 

She said “I tried to keep the joy”

And I said “I know”

You see, my joy wasn’t always in hiding

She was vibrant, hopeful, smiling from ear to ear 

Her laugh sounded light music in a crowded room

She was fun carefree and filled with so much love for others 

She saw the best in everyone, trusted all, and was there for everyone no questions asked 

But my joy was naive and soon she realized that people weren’t as they seemed

My joy met my sadness and they became acquaintances 

My sadness told my joy how people werent her friends and how they were using her

My sadness told my joy what others thought of her and how much she gave and they didn’t give back 

Then my joy slowly turned into sadness after seeing my sadness perspective

My joy slowly no longer existed, consumed by the trauma and reality of the life that surrounded her

I no longer had joy but double the sadness

I fought for years to get my joy back, a long journey it became and a long awaited reunion that is still in the works

I lost my joy to sadness years ago and now we are planning our reunion and a fair well to my second sadness